Thaaaaaat's meeeee! Um, yeah, so my post-every-day plans were thwarted by an impromptu trip to Tanglewood. I even Febrezed my Yale hoodie for the occasion, since I've been known to meet other Yalies in public just by wearing it, even though I am Way Too Lazy to actually wash it. My important things (see: car, hoodie, keys, bedroom) all have some kind of Yale on them, mostly because I think it imbues them with good karma and makes it less likely I'll lose my keys. Anyway, hoodies: alas, only Princeton (1) and Harvard (1) spotted. Also, sadly, it is nearly fall, which meant it got dark - and cold - before I anticipated it. Due to some citronella-scented miracle, there were no bugs, and the golden moon rising over the music shed was beautiful.
Classes start tomorrow - real college classes, not just AP classes which you're told are like college but are really, honestly not. I'm taking Sociology of Sex & Gender and Vietnam Through Film & Memoir. Since I like to fancy myself the love child of Tim O'Brien and Eve Ensler, this should be fun. Not sure if I mentioned that my eventual plan is to double-major in Anthropology and Women's, Gender & Sexuality Studies with plenty of creative writing thrown in.
I've been watching a wonderful YouTube video over and over - it's called How To Be Alone, by Andrea Dorfman (artist/animator/bird aficionado), and Tanya Davis (poet/singer/fellow knitter & coffeeshop dweller). In some ways, a gap year is an exercise in aloneness - it is a choice to abandon your peers, many of whom you have known since kindergarten (or second grade, in my case). It is a choice to jump off the rails of the educational and social train you boarded when you were too young to realize it. A loose year with few formal ideas can either be threatening or tranformative. I expect plenty of the former but, in the end, overwhelming doses of the latter.
I can only hope to produce art like this, simple and playful and peaceful all at once.
-- Julia
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
This Is Just To Say...
That I won dinosaur-shaped silly bands today at the (Great!) New York State Fair, playing the little kids' duck game. I'm an Upstate girl at heart.
-- Julia
-- Julia
Thursday, August 26, 2010
All Documentaries, All The Time
(Lest you think I have already cheated on my promise to post daily... here is a post at 11:39 pm.)
For some reason - I’m sick of reading, I’m sick of network TV, I am so enamored with my new toy/MacBook that I want to stare at it for hours on end - I’ve been watching (and, okay, torrent-ing) a bunch of documentaries lately. My fascination with all things non-fiction has found a new outlet in film; which is cool, ‘specially because one of my classes (more on them later) focuses a lot on film - HST 388, Vietnam Through Film & Memoir. But, anyway, quick recaps/impressions/opinions of my recent viewings:
Jesus Camp - OK, this documentary got all Sundanced up in, like, 2006, a year in which I was still struggling to find my way around high school and gave nary a thought to Pentecostal children’s summer camps. But it’s still very relevant, although I understand this minister (Becky Fischer) has since closed her camp. I don’t live in an area of the country where evangelical and Pentecostal churches have a lot of influence, but I can understand how strongly they shape the moral - and thus political - character of an area. It’s disturbing to see children indoctrinated at a young age into a fierce evangelism they can hardly understand; it’s difficult to see them issue blanket statements about “wrong” religions and “dead churches.” Being a Gender Studiez type, I was hoping to hear a little more about the strict gender roles the come about with this kind of training; they were briefly touched upon, but both a recent Jezebel post and Jessica Valenti’s excellent, if sometimes briefly hysterical (as in hysteria) The Purity Myth explore this in more detail.
Bye - This was a short documentary produced as part of the PBS series POV series. It follows a toddler boy named Jayden through his first few months of a specialized pre-preschool program for autistic children in the Bronx. It’s under ten minutes long, so it doesn’t delve into the whole vaccination debate or anything. It’s an honest look at the very real struggles the parents and teachers of autistic children face. It’s well balanced between the emotional and the clinical. I did find myself wishing that, if the subject were to be explored further, the issues around access to diagnosis and treatment were addressed. For example - largely, I’m assuming, because Jayden’s particular area of the Bronx was more Hispanic/Latino/a, the teachers, aides and students in the film were largely minority. While race is not necessarily associated with class, a more privileged family would have the resources to pursue further treatment - the major “question” of the film’s conclusion is what Jayden will do after he ages out of the program, since he hasn’t made appropriate progress to go to conventional preschool.
12th & Delaware - I think I’m going to devote a whole post to this. Suffice to say, it was wonderful and thought-provoking, especially for someone who plans on a career/hobby of feminist activism.
34x25x36 - another short from POV; this one is a look inside a mannequin factory. For a short piece, it contains a lot of wisdom about the body-image crisis in America. The factory’s owner hits the nail on the head when he explains that a mannequin - and the clothes it wears - sell a “fantasy.” An unattainable standard of perfection that, ironically, changes with the season - the mannequins’ features, poses and figures change with the trends, but continue to promote an “ideal” body.
Devil’s Playground - This was a fascinating look at the Amish custom of rumspringa, in which adolescents are allowed access to the “English” world before making the final decision whether or not to join the Amish church. I think the filmmakers got a little more drama than they expected when one of the teens became a drug dealer and was nearly killed after other dealers ended up in jail while he was “let off.” This overindulgence - heavy drug use, constant partying, enormous amounts of alcohol - has parallels in the “English” world as well, as seen in the debate over lowering the drinking age. The Amish teens, beside normal conflicts with their parents and angst over dating, face a major decision that will dictate the rest of their lives. They face the “English” world and decide if its offerings are a temptation they will deny themselves - or a way of life.
The Devil and Daniel Johnston - This was recommended by Andrew Rose Gregory on one of his covers of a song by Johnston based on the infamous “A Walk To Remember” passage from First Corinthians. I found the song incredibly moving so decided to check out the film. I didn’t have any background knowledge of Johnston’s music or his life story, particularly the intersection of his overwhelming talent and overpowering mental illness, so this inevitably put a damper on my experience of the film. Nonetheless, I found the use of primary sources - Johnston’s own cassette and film recordings - incredible. To a fan of Johnston’s music, I’m sure this would be an interesting insight. Me, I’ll stick to Sylvia Plath.
Anyway... has anyone seen any of these films? Any others you'd like to recommend?
-- Julia
For some reason - I’m sick of reading, I’m sick of network TV, I am so enamored with my new toy/MacBook that I want to stare at it for hours on end - I’ve been watching (and, okay, torrent-ing) a bunch of documentaries lately. My fascination with all things non-fiction has found a new outlet in film; which is cool, ‘specially because one of my classes (more on them later) focuses a lot on film - HST 388, Vietnam Through Film & Memoir. But, anyway, quick recaps/impressions/opinions of my recent viewings:
Jesus Camp - OK, this documentary got all Sundanced up in, like, 2006, a year in which I was still struggling to find my way around high school and gave nary a thought to Pentecostal children’s summer camps. But it’s still very relevant, although I understand this minister (Becky Fischer) has since closed her camp. I don’t live in an area of the country where evangelical and Pentecostal churches have a lot of influence, but I can understand how strongly they shape the moral - and thus political - character of an area. It’s disturbing to see children indoctrinated at a young age into a fierce evangelism they can hardly understand; it’s difficult to see them issue blanket statements about “wrong” religions and “dead churches.” Being a Gender Studiez type, I was hoping to hear a little more about the strict gender roles the come about with this kind of training; they were briefly touched upon, but both a recent Jezebel post and Jessica Valenti’s excellent, if sometimes briefly hysterical (as in hysteria) The Purity Myth explore this in more detail.
Bye - This was a short documentary produced as part of the PBS series POV series. It follows a toddler boy named Jayden through his first few months of a specialized pre-preschool program for autistic children in the Bronx. It’s under ten minutes long, so it doesn’t delve into the whole vaccination debate or anything. It’s an honest look at the very real struggles the parents and teachers of autistic children face. It’s well balanced between the emotional and the clinical. I did find myself wishing that, if the subject were to be explored further, the issues around access to diagnosis and treatment were addressed. For example - largely, I’m assuming, because Jayden’s particular area of the Bronx was more Hispanic/Latino/a, the teachers, aides and students in the film were largely minority. While race is not necessarily associated with class, a more privileged family would have the resources to pursue further treatment - the major “question” of the film’s conclusion is what Jayden will do after he ages out of the program, since he hasn’t made appropriate progress to go to conventional preschool.
12th & Delaware - I think I’m going to devote a whole post to this. Suffice to say, it was wonderful and thought-provoking, especially for someone who plans on a career/hobby of feminist activism.
34x25x36 - another short from POV; this one is a look inside a mannequin factory. For a short piece, it contains a lot of wisdom about the body-image crisis in America. The factory’s owner hits the nail on the head when he explains that a mannequin - and the clothes it wears - sell a “fantasy.” An unattainable standard of perfection that, ironically, changes with the season - the mannequins’ features, poses and figures change with the trends, but continue to promote an “ideal” body.
Devil’s Playground - This was a fascinating look at the Amish custom of rumspringa, in which adolescents are allowed access to the “English” world before making the final decision whether or not to join the Amish church. I think the filmmakers got a little more drama than they expected when one of the teens became a drug dealer and was nearly killed after other dealers ended up in jail while he was “let off.” This overindulgence - heavy drug use, constant partying, enormous amounts of alcohol - has parallels in the “English” world as well, as seen in the debate over lowering the drinking age. The Amish teens, beside normal conflicts with their parents and angst over dating, face a major decision that will dictate the rest of their lives. They face the “English” world and decide if its offerings are a temptation they will deny themselves - or a way of life.
The Devil and Daniel Johnston - This was recommended by Andrew Rose Gregory on one of his covers of a song by Johnston based on the infamous “A Walk To Remember” passage from First Corinthians. I found the song incredibly moving so decided to check out the film. I didn’t have any background knowledge of Johnston’s music or his life story, particularly the intersection of his overwhelming talent and overpowering mental illness, so this inevitably put a damper on my experience of the film. Nonetheless, I found the use of primary sources - Johnston’s own cassette and film recordings - incredible. To a fan of Johnston’s music, I’m sure this would be an interesting insight. Me, I’ll stick to Sylvia Plath.
Anyway... has anyone seen any of these films? Any others you'd like to recommend?
-- Julia
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Beginning
You Begin
Margaret Atwood
You begin this way:
this is your hand,
this is your eye,
that is a fish, blue and flat
on the paper, almost
the shape of an eye.
This is your mouth, this is an O
or a moon, whichever
you like. This is yellow.
Outside the window
is the rain, green
because it is summer, and beyond that
the trees and then the world,
which is round and has only
the colors of these nine crayons.
This is the world, which is fuller
and more difficult to learn than I have said.
You are right to smudge it that way
with the red and then
the orange: the world burns.
Once you have learned these words
you will learn that there are more
words than you can ever learn.
The word hand floats above your hand
like a small cloud over a lake.
The word hand anchors
your hand to this table,
your hand is a warm stone
I hold between two words.
This is your hand, these are my hands, this is the world,
which is round but not flat and has more colors
than we can see.
It begins, it has an end,
this is what you will
come back to, this is your hand.
I begin. I've never written a blog before - not consistently at least - so keeping one for a year seems ambitious and even a little bit foolish. I'm not sure if this blog will gather any kind of following - actually, I would be flattered if anyone besides my parents followed it regularly. A cursory introduction that will be no surprise to anyone who’s ever met me: five feet on a good day; caffeine addict; bibliophile. I spent my high school years as a complete overachiever, stuffing my days with AP classes, volunteering, Model UN, and various other academic pursuits. I’m also a writer (and a writing camp kid), and I’m looking forward to really focusing on this in the coming year.
I live with my parents and two resident animals (cats, Casper and Felix) in a suburb of Syracuse, New York. We’re known for our bad weather and our good basketball. Syracuse is made a lot more tolerable by the fact that I Have My License. I became slightly infamous my senior year for being the valedictorian with the car she could never park correctly. I like highways, adventures, and driving at night with pop music blaring. I knit a lot; I read a lot; I write not-often-enough. My passion is for non-fiction, both journalism and memoir-style narcissism. I’m a lifelong Girl Scout but I can’t start a fire.
Why Yale? That’s a question for a much, much longer post. Why a gap year? Briefly: I’m taking a year off before Yale because I’m young (I skipped first grade, so I would have been entering college at the tender age of seventeen - not that that’s particularly unusual) and restless. I’ve spent too long following rules and carefully crafting my life to meet the ultimate goal of an overachieving adolescence - college. Now I’ve made it - not that college admissions are anything but a game and, ultimately, a crapshoot. But I need to spend a year following my own rules and breaking them. I’m not (as far as I know) going to change the world or write a book. I’m not enrolled in any expensive gap year programs. I am taking a few classes at Syracuse, but that’s really just to give me something to do, and satisfy my parents’ secret longing that I go to Syracuse (they’re both alumni a few times over).
I’ll try to post daily but I’m not sure if that will happen. We’ll see. Please comment, talk at me or with me. I begin.
--Julia
Margaret Atwood
You begin this way:
this is your hand,
this is your eye,
that is a fish, blue and flat
on the paper, almost
the shape of an eye.
This is your mouth, this is an O
or a moon, whichever
you like. This is yellow.
Outside the window
is the rain, green
because it is summer, and beyond that
the trees and then the world,
which is round and has only
the colors of these nine crayons.
This is the world, which is fuller
and more difficult to learn than I have said.
You are right to smudge it that way
with the red and then
the orange: the world burns.
Once you have learned these words
you will learn that there are more
words than you can ever learn.
The word hand floats above your hand
like a small cloud over a lake.
The word hand anchors
your hand to this table,
your hand is a warm stone
I hold between two words.
This is your hand, these are my hands, this is the world,
which is round but not flat and has more colors
than we can see.
It begins, it has an end,
this is what you will
come back to, this is your hand.
I begin. I've never written a blog before - not consistently at least - so keeping one for a year seems ambitious and even a little bit foolish. I'm not sure if this blog will gather any kind of following - actually, I would be flattered if anyone besides my parents followed it regularly. A cursory introduction that will be no surprise to anyone who’s ever met me: five feet on a good day; caffeine addict; bibliophile. I spent my high school years as a complete overachiever, stuffing my days with AP classes, volunteering, Model UN, and various other academic pursuits. I’m also a writer (and a writing camp kid), and I’m looking forward to really focusing on this in the coming year.
I live with my parents and two resident animals (cats, Casper and Felix) in a suburb of Syracuse, New York. We’re known for our bad weather and our good basketball. Syracuse is made a lot more tolerable by the fact that I Have My License. I became slightly infamous my senior year for being the valedictorian with the car she could never park correctly. I like highways, adventures, and driving at night with pop music blaring. I knit a lot; I read a lot; I write not-often-enough. My passion is for non-fiction, both journalism and memoir-style narcissism. I’m a lifelong Girl Scout but I can’t start a fire.
Why Yale? That’s a question for a much, much longer post. Why a gap year? Briefly: I’m taking a year off before Yale because I’m young (I skipped first grade, so I would have been entering college at the tender age of seventeen - not that that’s particularly unusual) and restless. I’ve spent too long following rules and carefully crafting my life to meet the ultimate goal of an overachieving adolescence - college. Now I’ve made it - not that college admissions are anything but a game and, ultimately, a crapshoot. But I need to spend a year following my own rules and breaking them. I’m not (as far as I know) going to change the world or write a book. I’m not enrolled in any expensive gap year programs. I am taking a few classes at Syracuse, but that’s really just to give me something to do, and satisfy my parents’ secret longing that I go to Syracuse (they’re both alumni a few times over).
I’ll try to post daily but I’m not sure if that will happen. We’ll see. Please comment, talk at me or with me. I begin.
--Julia
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